Coffee
by VagabondAngel94
Summary: What happens when America has too much coffee before a world meeting? Read to find out. UKUS USUK


Coffee

**Authors Note:**** I do not own Hetalia. This fanfiction was inspired by a friend of mine when we were Rping. God Bless, have a nice Easter.**

America was sitting by himself in the dimly lit Starbucks. It was only about fifteen minutes until he had to attend another boring world meeting so he needed all the caffeine he could get to stay awake. Guzzling down his Mocha Frappicino with three extra shots of God know what in it, America stood from his seat and made his way down the sidewalk and into the hotel where the meeting was to be held.

_This sucks,_ he thought chugging the extremely caffeinated drink, _I could be out playing lazor tag or something at Main Event!_

Once he had sat down in his seat behind his name tag, America looked around the room gazing at the other early arrivals. It was no one you'd expect not to arrive early, just Germany, Japan, and England. _Real sticks in the mud,_ America thought with a groan. _Why is my face tingling? _

"America, why on Earth are you here early and what is that awful brown goo you're slurping up?" England questioned him with judgmental eyes.

America smiled, "It's a Mocha Frappe and it's going to help me get through a boring ass meeting with all of you old farts!"

"Old?! Who are you calling old, I'm 23!"

"You're older than me old man!"

England grit his teeth. "I'm not too old to kick your arse!"

"Just try it!"

"That is enough!" Germany yelled over both of them. "Take your arguments outside, I will not have another accident like 2007!"

"Man, why you gotta bring up 2007? I was young and foolish!" _Oh man, my heart is racing, _America thought with a frown.

"That was only six years ago!" Germany yelled.

America growled. "Fine, I wont put anymore fire crackers in England's back pocket!"

"That was you?! I gave France a black eye for that!" the angry Brit yelled as the other nations filed into the room.

"All right quiet and let this meeting begin." Germany said massaging his temples.

The meeting dragged on and on as Germany droned about economics and politics which would normally make him bored out of his wits, but today, he could barely even blink. His legs were shaking like a helpless Baltic nation, and his heart was pounding as if he were making love with the most sexy person in the world. The other nations around him noticed this and gave him weird looks but chalked it up to America just being... well America. That is... until it was America's turn to speak.

Power walking up to the podium, America began talking and waving his arms wildly. "Okay dudes I think we should focus on more happy things like cake and butterflies and burgers and England's cool tie. DUDE! I. Love. Your. Tie. Oh my God, I had a dream once that you were riding naked on top of a dolphin!"

Everyone gave America a blank stare, unsure of what they had just heard. What the hell was he talking about? However when everyone glanced at England's mortified face, they broke into laughter. England looked as hilarious as a shocked cartoon character, his eyes popping out and his entire face turning red in anger and shame.

The Brit was gritting his teeth an awful lot that day. "America... Exactly what kind of drugs are you on?" he asked fuming.

"I'm not on drugs, you know there's a war on drugs in my country, the most I've ever done is smoke and I already know it's bad for you. Oh my God, England lets have a BBQ! I can cook all the food and you can watch because you're tastes like ass, like for real did I mention the dolphin?!"

America's mouth was moving a mile a minute. The older nation would have done anything to get his former colony to shut up because one, he was humiliating him, and two Germany looked as if he was about to bust a tit. "America for the love of God! Stop talkin-"

"O.M.G. England your eyebrows are huge! Does that mean you have a big dick because usually the size of a mans feet determine the size of their penis' but since your feet are so small, I hope it goes by your eyebrows!"

England was beyond the point of anger now, it was sort of a calming numb that took over his entire body. "I think I'm going to vomit..." he whispered causing several nations to back away from the Brit.

Germany stood from his seat and turned to the Brit, his blue eyes flared up in anger. "Arthur. Will you please take him to his house and detox any kind of drug he's on?!"

"Are you mad!?" he screamed, his numbness suddenly wearing off. "The man is obviously on speed, I cannot deal with him-" England cut himself off at the look in Germany's eyes. "Right... fine... America, let's-" America was already out of the door, racing towards the Brits rental car he was using on his visit to America. England groaned following the younger man.

America had convinced the Brit to take him to Wal-Mart by telling him he only had an egg and margarita mix in the fridge, and because the Brit was staying with him, he had no choice but to take this caffeinated nation into a public place. Pulling into a fairly close parking spot, Arthur turned to Alfred. "America, I'm about to take you into this store, but before I do, I'm going to need you to calm the bloody hell down!" he screeched. However, the American wasn't listening, he was doing a very ghetto version of the Harlem Shake in the passenger seat, making the music noises with his mouth. The Brit sighed and stepped out of the car, assuming the younger man would follow him once he got bored.

"England?! England, don't leave me!" he yelled jumping out of the car and accidentally slamming his hand into the door. "AHHH!" he screamed from the pain attracting the attention of some very concerned onlookers and his former mentor. "Arthur, Arthur, it hurts, it hurts!"

Rushing to the American's side, the Brit released the hand from the car door and began inspecting it. "It's not broke-"

"Don't touch it!" America interrupted him with a cry.

England gave an annoyed look. "How will I know if it's broken or not?!"

"No, no, no! I'm not good with pain, I'll knock you out, you know that!"

"Alfred just calm down"

"It.. it hurts..."

The older man was speaking in a soothing voice. "It'll be all right, I don't think it's broken. Now now, dry those silly tears"

_Tears? I'm crying? _America thought feeling his face. "I'm so not crying old man, there's no freaking way! I'm a hero, hero's don't cry! I'm like batman or superman or wolverine or..." America began babbling on and on forgetting about the pain in his hand.

Once the two had entered the store, America seemed to get worse and worse. "England! England! Lets build a fort out of pillows! NO! Lets build a tree house, NO! Lets build a space ship!"

"America, what on Earth-"

"Oh my God, what would you do if I glued my hand to my penis?!"

England's eyes widened as the American stared at him in anticipation. "I'd tell you to find your own damn ride to the hospital because I wouldn't drive you, git!"

The younger nation wasn't paying any attention, he was staring at the older mans ass as he pushed a buggy through the store. "For an old guy you've got a really tight ass, it looks like a cheerleaders for God sake-"

"America! If you do not silence yourself I will pulls your pants down and spank you in front of this entire store!"

**Thanks for reading, Chapter Two coming soon! Good night, and once again God Bless.**


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